Updating on Nikki situation

Well when George got home last night, he asked Nikki for her decision--whether she was going to BHC (Behavorial Health Center), Blackfoot South (mental institution), or moving out of this house--and right off she was on the defensive and said she was moving out and commensed to stomp up the stairs and start to pack her stuff up to leave.

In the meantime, I was talking to Lexie and George, listening to them go on and on about making her make that decision and etc. When they were done, and George and I were alone for just a few moments, I got to talk to him and voice my true opinion about all of this. I told him that I don't feel like she needs to be treated so bad by them basically and I know what is going on with her, or at least a good portion of it, and if he remembers right that she was like this (but not to this extreme) last year when she knew Brian would be home for a visit--she is getting apprehensive about being around him all the time because she knows that she will have to deal with him and have to get into the real issues within their marriage. After I told George that, he called Nikki into our room and I got her to talking just by telling her that I understood how she was feeling and being compassionate to her and NOT yelling at her like they were doing. She started to open up a little and got the channels of communication open for the good and not the bad.

When Brian came home last Nov., before his Guard Unit was sent over to Iraq, she was nervous about seeing him and she was like this so I know what is making her be like this, or at least part of it, and there is other issues also that they both need to deal with when he gets back. Brian has already started to see a counselor while over there and will continue when he comes home. Nikki will start seeing her counselor again starting this coming Monday and they will start marriage counseling when Brian gets back. I know they can make their marriage better (and themselves for that matter) with the counseling and I also understand that it takes them to WANT to make it better for it to truly work.

Nikki has been a delight to be around today and that is all we want. We truly do want the best for her and maybe I'm being naive but I don't feel that you need to yell at people all the time to get your point across. Growing up, both Nikki and Lexie didn't have a mother that gave a damn about them or what they were doing so when they came to live with us (ones that DO give a damn) its been really hard for them to comprehend that someone will "go to bat for them" whenever someone is trying to hurt them and such. Lexie and I have had our blow-outs and such but I think that she is understanding and appreciating me now more and also appreciating have someone "in her corner" when she needs it because her own mother was never there for either one of them.

Anyways I hope that we are on our way to a better time around here but I won't hold my breath for a while just because I know my family better. hehehe I will pleasantly be surprised if things stay pretty calm and Nikki will stick with the counseling and LET IT HELP HER!!!!

After all is said and done I just might try going to a counselor so I can talk about a few things myself. I am NO WHERE NEAR needing one like Nikki but it never hurts having someone outside the situation (an unbiased opinion) to listen and give advice.